Narrative Draft Response

Select one classmate’s essay, view the video located in the Excelsior College
OWL at Excelsior College Online Writing Lab and complete the peer review form. (
Engaging in peer review (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site. [Video File][02 min 18 sec]. Retrieved from peer review form, which can also be downloaded here, contains questions for you to complete about your classmate’s essay. You should complete the form and then attach it to a discussion in response to your classmate’s original post.

Click the following link and then on the picture of the form to download the peer review form. (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site.

In addition to completing the peer review form in the OWL, you should respond to the following peer feedback questions in your discussion post:

1.   What strategies, specific to narrative essays, stood out to you as being most effective?

2.   What suggestions do you have for additional or improved narrative strategies?


Why I am an Excelsior Student

Bonnie Whaley

Excelsior College

I had a great time in high school and had the opportunity to work at several different jobs. After everything I tried, I decided to go to college and get a nursing degree. My mom is a nurse and I used to volunteer at her work and help the patients with arts and crafts, game time, or just sit and listen to their stories and keep them company. It was so rewarding and it made me happy to help them out. I could also sense the happiness the patients got from someone just giving them time. Then I started to research how much nursing school was going to cost and quickly realized I could not afford to pay tuition and my parents wouldn’t be able to assist me either.

So instead of continuing my job at Mc Donald’s I decided to join the military so I could have access to the Montgomery GI Bill. I was just going to do four years and then go to college and get a degree and work in the medical field. I went to boot camp and got to my first duty station and learned I could go to school and become a Health Services Technician and it would transfer over skills to work in the civilian medical field as a medical assistant. Then I learned it was over a three year wait to attend that school and they were no longer accepting names on the list. So, Plan B was to go to a different school and still get my GI Bill and go into nursing school.

Now 18 years later I am finally working towards my degree. I am not going to nursing school or even interested in working in the health care industry anymore. I am working on a degree in Business management so I can either open my own bakery or manage a shop for someone else. I chose to attend Excelsior because they are willing to work with a military schedule. They also take all the training and advancement time you have in the military and apply it towards your degree. It could be an elective credit or a Humanities credit. It really just depends on what the schooling was. The process to enroll after transcript review is extremely easy and they even waive some of the fees to make it more affordable to the junior members. The degree plans are clear and easy to follow and allow for you to plan your academic year out ahead of schedule.

The one thing I would caution future students about would be the form of communication you have with the school. If you talk to an advisor on the phone that is fine but make sure you have their information and a way to contact them and follow up with the information they have given you. I contacted the school and one of the advisors and informed them that due to unforeseen circumstances with my work and deployment schedule that I wouldn’t be able to take any additional classes until the spring of the following year. The advisor informed me this was okay and it would be noted and I wouldn’t be penalized for not meeting the full credit hours for the academic year. Then I stared to receive notices that I was going to be disenrolled from the college if I didn’t pay a fee since I didn’t meet my hours. When I called the school to clear the information up I had already been disenrolled and had to go and get authorization to re-enroll and continue my degree plan. The staff all need to be on the same page for situations like this. If the advisor a student is assigned to cannot authorize waivers then they need to inform you and pass you along to the correct person.

This has caused me to start looking into different schools to complete my Bachelor’s degree. I do not want the stress of the unknown when it comes to my college career. It isn’t cheap and not everyone has the ability to receive scholarships, grants, or tuition assistance. I highly encourage any future college student to thoroughly research and have a clear understanding of what the college requires of you. Make sure they are willing and able to work with you if you are military or in a job that has a high chance to interrupt your schooling.