FOURTH SUBMISSION OF A PAPER SECTION: Concession and Refutation

So far you’ve written the introduction, the statement of background, and the confirmation. This has mostly been familiar ways of writing a paper. Now, for many of you, we will be moving into new territory: the “concession & refutation.” This section is defined in detail below.

Concession and Refutation

Regardless of the position you take, there will be naysayers – writers and thinkers who disagree with you, either with your position as a whole, or with a part of your argument, or even if they agree with your ideas about the problem, they’ll disagree with what you believe is the solution to the problem.

For instance:

  • They may not agree there’s a problem.
  • They might agree there’s a problem but that it’s not a serious problem.
  • They may agree there’s a serious problem but the cause is different from what you think it is, or

They agree with your assessment of the problem but they disagree with your solution.

Keep an open mind about where the naysayer may appear.

This section is where you offer an account of the major point or points of disagreement and how you can see why these thinkers and writers would disagree (this is called a concession). But then you continue to offer a refutation of that view. In other words, while you can see the opposing view and understand how your opponents come to it, you show how that opposing view isn’t as important or thoughtful or as compelling or as right as your own view (that is, you refute that specific opposing view you’ve offered).

Please Note: Be sure to use the naysayer templates found in Graff & Birkenstein’s The Say, I Say. I will be evaluating your submission in part on how well you can position a naysayer and then refute that naysayer.

A successful paper will have the following:

  • Evidence of following the assignment’s directions;
  • A clear and focused problem and purpose generated by the writer;
  • Specific, detailed and concrete ideas taken from the sources;
  • An organization that is logical, coherent, unified and easy to follow;
  • Reference to legitimate support (your research) using MLA citation;
  • Effective use of “They, I Say” structure, avoiding “voice mixing” and the “data dump”;
  • Specific and clear explanation of your ideas;
  • Logical relationships—linkages—between ideas, sentences and paragraphs;
  • Sentence style that is powerful, clear and precise; and

No surface feature errors.

What is a “data dump”? A data dump is when a writer takes all of his or her research and dumps it into the paper without any kind of analysis, interpretation or assertions of importance or emphasis. This is a common kind of the so-called “research paper” found in high school. But it isn’t. So don’t do this. Data dumping makes for a very bad paper.

What is “voice mixing”? Voice mixing is a condition when a reader can’t tell the difference between the author’s own voice and the voices from the sources. This is bad. It should always be clear when a reader is reading the sources ideas (the “They Say”) and when they are reading your own ideas (the “I Say”). To make matters worse, voice mixing can look a lot like plagiarism.

What is one way to tell that you have data dumping or voice mixing in your paper (though not the only way)? That your paper has one or a number of paragraphs that have only one citation located at the very end of the paragraph. A paragraph should most likely have a source (or two) that needs an in text citation and then also have your own voice (which won’t have an in text citation).

Due Now

Use a separate document (you’ll be combining the sections later in the term) submitting the concesson and refutation — aim for about an additional ONE paragraph to THREE paragraphs.

What you turn in here must contain:

1) at the top, please post your central thesis.

2) in the text, include correct in-text citations.

3) be sure to include a relevant Works Cited page at the end. If you use only one source, then your Works Cited page will have one source.

SECOND SUBMISSION OF A PAPER SECTION: first part of the Confirmation

Effects of video game to the users (boys)

Central thesis: Playing violent video games could cause various negative effects on the boys who are actively playing on it, in the way that they would become more aggressive and it is also a danger in mind and it would damage the brain.

It is interesting that although there are many studies on the subject, there is still controversy, although scientists are reading the same information. Analyzing the available data, the APA considers that immediately after being exposed to violence in the media (including video games), a tendency of aggressive characteristics. They said that those who play violent video games are desensitized, and instead of caring about other people and having compassion, they become bad and even hurt people, including family members. The other, who has also seen changes in the boys who play violent video games, interpret them in another way. In my own point of view, I’d say that, unlike people who kill others in the real world, the changes in these guys are superficial and transient. They call them “minor acts of aggression”. They compare them to a little boy sticking his tongue out to another. According to Anderson and Douglas, “the interesting thing is that neither of the two scientists leaves their children to play violent video” (299).

Violent video games are the order of the day. It seems that the more bloody or cruel they are, the more successful they are. They say that this violence makes young people end up doing the same things on the street, becoming increasingly “ferocious”. In my personal experience, I found out that video games really affect the mind of users especially those boys because it would create different crimes committed by those who are addictive in this kind of games. Much has been talked about this topic, and much is going to talk because it is a subject that draws much attention taking into account the amount of violent games that are generated today and a number of violent crimes that occur in the world lately. Some say that many of them are caused because the minds of young people are influenced by the violence of the games and that this moves them to take what they see on the screen to real life. There has also been a lot of talk about this because of the number of times this topic appears in TV series or movies, and of course, if the TV says it, it is true (as many people think).

The researchers found in subjects who did not play violent video games, a normal delay in the Stroop test and an expected increase in areas of the brain related to emotion. On the other hand, the results of the brain images of the players of violent video games revealed at the beginning of the investigation a normal brain activity, but after 2 weeks of playing violent video games, they exhibited less activation in the cerebral areas related to emotion (Park, p. 154). In my own observation, I would say that the players of violent video games, after a week, showed a decline in activity in the areas that regulate attention and concentration. The researchers say that the brain changes unveiled in the study are similar for adolescents with sociopathic disorders, and their results support previous studies that demonstrated the negative effects of video games in the short term, which have been used in court cases by parents. and tutors to control violent video games in teenagers. I’d say that the participants who used the violent game showed more aggressiveness against their opponents in the retaliation part of the study than the participants who used the non-violent game,” the authors of the recent study noted. Violent video games were less “cooperative” than other children during play period.

References

Anderson, Craig A., and Douglas A. Gentile. “Violent Video Game Effects on Aggressive thoughts, feelings, physiology, and Behavior.” Media Violence and Children: A Complete Guide for Parents and Professionals: A Complete Guide for Parents and Professionals (2014): 229.

Park, Alice. How Playing Violent Video Games May Change the Brain. The Ste Cell Hope for Children. (2011): 154.

THIRD SUBMISSION OF PAPER SECTION: remainder of the “Confirmation”

Central thesis: Effects of video game to the users (boys)

Playing violent video games has the potential to cause various negative effects on boys, a specific emphasis being on the aggression these boys exhibit. In elongated hours of play time on the violent video games, the games can cause brain damage to the kids unconsciously affecting their attention span and emotional responses.

It is interesting that although there are many studies on this subject, some still ongoing, controversial findings are made. Like any other form of addiction, violent video games become an addiction over time potentially ruining a part of the human brain, especially among developing brains, which is what the young boys have. The violent video games are a threat to the behaviors of the boys the moment they become an addiction because the brain actively yearns to process and feed on the violence in the video games.

Analyzing the available data, the APA considers that immediately after being exposed to violence in the media, including video games, a tendency of aggressive characteristics is exhibited. They said that those who play violent video games are desensitized, and they become bad and even hurt people, including family members. In my opinion, I would say that the violent video games cause the brain of the boys to take up certain behaviors which essentially exhibit aggression, with a sense of lack of empathy. Aggression strongly kicks in when the loss of empathy has occurred in the boys. The other, who has also seen changes in the boys who play violent video games, interpret them in another way. In my own point of view, I’d say that, unlike people who kill others in the real world, the changes in these boys are superficial and transient. They call them “minor acts of aggression”. They compare them to a little boy sticking his tongue out to another. According to Anderson and Douglas, “the interesting thing is that neither of the two scientists leaves their children to play violent video” (299).

The leading played video games are violent in nature, and the violent the games, the quicker they fly off the shelves. They say that this violence makes young people end up becoming increasingly “ferocious”. In my opinion, I discovered that video games affect the mind of users because of the sense of addiction. Soon after winning a game, the boys are too entangled in experiencing the same pleasure, pushing aside the element of violence into their subconscious mind. In such cases, the brain picks up all elements of the violent games, and slowly into the lives of the boys, the behaviors in the scenes of the games are depicted in real life. Usually, the symptoms start with “minor acts of aggression” like throwing tantrums upon correction, to greater acts like breaking items in anger.

Christopher J Ferguson says “the potential influence of violent video games on youth violence remains an issue of concern for psychologists” stating it as a major area of concern that will continually prompt more research in light of a number of violent games being generated today. This topic appears in television show series or motion picture, and whatever the television portrays as true, it is true. This means that the matter of aggression among boys today is raising brows. In my thought, this is un-neglect able since the aping is not just from the violent scenes of games, but to other aspects of media portrayal like dressing and other lifestyle habits. If seen true, even in my very own experience, then the same truth can be noted in matters violence among boys as a result of violent video gaming.

The Stroop Test has been used in neuropsychological evaluations to measure mental vitality and flexibility since performing well requires strong attention, inhibition and self-regulation capability. The researchers found in subjects who did not play violent video games, a normal delay in the Stroop test and an expected increase in areas of the brain related to emotion. On the other hand, the results of the brain images of the players of violent video games revealed at the beginning of the investigation a normal brain activity, but after 2 weeks of playing violent video games, they exhibited less activation in the cerebral areas related to emotion (Park, p. 154). In my own observation, I would say that the players of violent video games, after a week, showed a decline in activity in the areas that regulate attention and concentration. I would say that the participants who used the violent games showed more aggressiveness against their opponents in the retaliation part of the study than the participants who used the non-violent game,” the authors of the recent study noted. Violent video gamers were less “cooperative” than other children during play period. In my observation, even while playing with other kids, boys actively involved in playing violent video games displayed some sense of anger than the usual emotion displayed by boys that did not play violent video games. I would, therefore, cite that the violent video gaming has an intense impact on the young boys by evoking feelings of aggression when interacting in real life scenarios.

References

Anderson, Craig A., and Douglas A. Gentile. “Violent Video Game Effects on Aggressive thoughts, feelings, physiology, and Behavior.” Media Violence and Children: A Complete Guide for Parents and Professionals: A Complete Guide for Parents and Professionals (2014): 229.

Ferguson, C. J. (2011). Video games and youth violence: A prospective analysis in adolescents. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 40(4), 377-377-391.