Need Rough Draft revised into Final Draft

Hi I need someone to edit my rough draft and make it into my final draft. My teacher edited my draft so you will see what you need to change. It should be very easy. The only thing you really need to do is Build upon the 2-3 page Essay One Draft to become a 3-4 page essay.


  1. Revise the following aspects of your Essay One Draft, which
    • Identifies the speech maker and their credentials for speaking, using first and last names according to academic conventions.
    • Identifies the purpose of the speech and its relevance to world events.
    • Identifies the speaker’s main claim and summarizes the key points the speaker uses to defend their claim.
  2. Fully defend and build upon at least one meaningful opposing point or critique of the speech (or some aspect of the speech) using sound evidence and reasoning.
  3. Choose one sentence (or pair/group of sentences) to revise using any one template from They Say/I Say. To indicate which sentence you’ve revised using a template, underline it in your essay submission. Then, at the end of your essay, type the template you used from the textbook (exactly as it appears there) and note the page number on which you found it. The Index of Templates in the back of the book is very handy for this purpose.
  4. Remove and revise all instances of the word “you” in your essay. Replace with third-person words like “the audience.”

Here is the speech